A Love StoryScientifically Speaking
by Klowee von Karma
Summary: Klavier and Ema go on a date, but things don't exactly go as planned...


_What am I doing? _Ema Skye thought as she stumbled around in her high heels. _Dressing up like this was extraneous. Why did I do it anyway? _She tripped and fell, screaming on her way down. _Don't panic. All you have to do is put disinfectant on the wounds and put adhesive bandages over them, scientifically speaking..._

"Fraulien detective," a familiar voice greeted, and Ema became aware that a hand was right in front of her. She grabbed it, and the man helped her up. She looked into his blue eyes, her breath catching in her throat.

"Klavier," she said dreamily. Then, she scowled. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be waiting for me at the restaurant?"

"Yes, but when you didn't show up, I went looking for you, Fraulien," Klavier said. "I was concerned."

"Well, scientifically speaking..." Ema started. Klavier laughed.

"Not everything is scientific," he said.

"But..."

"Shh," Klavier interrupted."Let's just go to the restaurant, Fraulien detective. People are waiting for us."

"But I must look like a train wreck! I mean..."

"You don't get it, do you, Fraulien detective? You will always look beautiful to me," Klavier said. Ema was so shocked by this that she didn't argue as Klavier escorted her to the restaurant...

"May I take your coat?" Maggey Byrde asked.

"Er...Of course," Ema replied nervously, giving Maggey her dirty coat.

"There's no need to be nervous, ja?" Klavier asked.

"O-of course! N-no need at all." _Except, of course, for the fact that this is my very first date, and the statistics show that I will find a way to screw this up... _

"Don't worry about a thing, Fraulien Detective," Klavier said. "We ought to go sit down, ja?"

"Y-yeah. There's um..." Ema began, but lost her train of thought when she saw Detective Gumshoe casually sitting with a man who looked like it was absolute torture for him to be there. _Is Gumshoe...? Nah, he couldn't be, could he?_

"Excuse me for one second," Ema said to Klavier. "I need to find something out using the scientific method."

Klavier flashed her a dazzling smile and said, "I'll find us a table then, ja?" As Klavier walked away, Ema curiously approached Gumshoe's table.

"Hey, pal. It seems we have company. Ho, ho, ho," Gumshoe said when he spotted Ema.

"Indeed," the man next to him agreed, clearly not as amused as Gumshoe.

"Hi," Ema greeted. "Are you two dating?" _Smooth, Ema. Real smooth._

"What?!" the man next to Gumshoe shouted, his eyes growing huge.

"Wait, you're...You're Mr. Edgeworth!" Ema exclaimed.

"Yes, I am," Edgeworth said.

"So sorry. I didn't recognize you with the mustache!" Ema responded, putting one hand over her mouth.

"Apparently," Edgeworth began. "But Detective Gumshoe and I are not dating. I am his and his fiancee's ride home."

"The only way I could thank him for being so generous was to invite him to eat here on Maggey's bill," Gumshoe said. "Since I can't afford anything..."

"And what brings you here, Ema?" Edgeworth asked, obviously avoiding the subject.

"I have a date," Ema replied proudly. She heard laughing at a nearby table. When she turned around, she saw Phoenix, Maya, and Iris all sitting together.

"So then, Franziska whipped me until I fainted," Phoenix said. Iris laughed, and Maya pretended to laugh.

"Hello, Mr. Wright. It's very nice to see you wearing a suit again."

"Oh...Hi, Ema," Phoenix said. "Iris, Maya, this is Ema Skye."

"I am pleased to meet you," Ema responded, shaking Iris and Maya's hands. "But I'm afraid I have to go. My date's waiting." Ema walked away, barely managing to get to Klavier's table without tripping on the way. Once she was getting close, Klavier got up and pulled out a chair for her.

"Er...Thanks, Klavier," Ema said, sitting down.

"You're very welcome, Fraulien..."

"Please, just call me Ema," she interrupted.

"Ema," Klavier said dreamily.

"Are you ready to order?" Maggey asked, completely ruining the moment.

"Um...Yeah, I'll have..." Ema began. "The 2% Calcium, 10% Vitamin D..."

"Just get the lady a lovely bowl of pasta," Klavier interrupted. "Actually, get us a huge plate to split, Fraulien Waitress."

"Of course, sir. And to drink?" Maggey asked.

"I'll have the frozen H2O molecules in the..." Ema began. _You dope. Why are you saying the scientific version of everything? Because I'm nervous, and that's what I do when I'm like that._

"Just get us both some ice water, ja?" Klavier replied.

"Okay. I'll have it ready in a jiffy," Maggey said, and walked away.

"I'm sorry, Klavier. I didn't mean to..."

"You're so cute when you're like that," Klavier interrupted.

"L-like what?" Ema asked, bewildered.

"When you're not afraid of being yourself." _This is extremely corny,_ Ema thought as she stared into his eyes.

"And you're handsome when you're not being tackled by fan girls." Klavier laughed, and Ema couldn't help but to join him. _Wait. Why are we laughing?_

"So, uh...so," Ema began. "Er...What do you do in your free time?"

"I practice, ja? Practice makes perfect," Klavier replied.

"And what do you do, Fraulien de-Ema?"

"I either prove or disprove the most complicated scientific theories I can find," Ema answered. _I hope he doesn't think I'm weird for saying that..._

"Sounds...Interesting," Klavier said. _I knew it. He thinks it's strange. Change the subject._

"The chemical composition of everything is very interesting, right down to this ice water. I mean, in order to purify water, you add fluoride and some other chemicals..."

"Ema, I find this fascinating, but...I'm more interested in how you are," Klavier interrupted.

"Oh, me? Well...I'm...a bit apprehensive. This is my very first date, and statistics show that I'll probably mess up somehow..." Ema blurted. _Wait...I just said all of that aloud, didn't I? What is wrong with me? _

"You can do no wrong from these eyes, ja?" Klavier said. Ema became aware that his face was moving closer to hers. Her face was moving closer to his. Suddenly, without warning, Ema's leg betrayed her by kicking Klavier right in the crotch. His face fell onto the table. Ema stood up, horrified of what she just did.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" she blurted hurriedly before running in the direction of the ladies' room. Naturally, in her inexperience with high heels, she didn't make it very far before tripping over a chair and falling in a way where she was both on top of and under a tablecloth. Everything that was once on the table fell with an ominous crashing sound. She knew she broke lots of glass items, and she was thankful she was under the tablecloth, therefore able to stay hidden until everyone forgot about would have liked nothing more than to do that...Too bad things never work out that way.

Ema peeked out from under the table cloth to try to assess what was going on. She saw eyes staring down at her, and Klavier's hand offering to help her up. Ema retreated farther under the table cloth, only to go too far and bump into the table. The thudding of the table hitting the ground sent shivers down Ema's spine. But that wasn't the worst part. The table falling over seemed to release some people from their trance, and suddenly some fan girls were screaming.

"It's Klavier, and he's dateless!" Ema got out from under the table cloth in order to avoid being trampled. She saw a crowd of women around Klavier, who cast Ema a pleading glance. _Don't worry, Klavier. I'll help you out of this, _Ema thought. _Scientifically. _

"Hey, look! It's Klavier's brother, Kristoph!" Ema shouted.

"Who cares about Kristoph?" a random fan girl asked as the crowd kept swarming Klavier. It seemed more and more girls were joining the mass of people, trying to get autographs, among other things. _Time for plan B,_ Ema thought.

"Hey, look! It's Phoenix making out with Edgeworth!" Ema shouted forcefully. Phoenix's jaw dropped to the floor. Edgeworth's eyes grew twice their normal size. And they both stared in horror as the fan girls all tried seeing out the window, foaming out the mouths.

"The girls won't follow us into the boys' bathroom. Let's go," Ema said, grabbing Klavier by the hand and running, practically dragging him along. Unfortunately for them, Klavier also had fan boys, and they were all in the bathroom.

"Um...Look! It's Mia Fey taking her top off!" Ema shouted.

"Oh, that is just indecent. Let's go stop her," one of the fan boys said and they all ran out of the bathroom.

"Yeah...I'm sure they would stop her," Ema said sarcastically. "Now to exit out the window without breaking it!" She pulled out a test tube of some strange, bubbling liquid and started pouring its contents on the window. The glass melted away wherever she applied it.

"Ugh..." Klavier moaned.

"Are you alright?" Ema asked.

"Yeah. Popular men like me are always okay, ja?" Klavier lied. "You first, Fraulien Ema." Ema expertly leaped out the window, giving the impression she's exited restaurants in such a way before. Then, she helped Klavier out the window.

"Thanks, Ema," Klavier said. "But why didn't you tell them the truth? That we were going out."

"Um...Well, I kind of figured you would ditch me after the whole kicking you in the penis thing, which I am sorry for, by the way! I didn't mean to..." Ema replied.

"It's okay, Ema. Just give me a few days to recover," Klavier interrupted.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I think there might be a way to salvage this date," Ema announced.

"How?" Klavier asked, amused.

"You'll see," Ema responded, grabbing Klavier and dragging him once again.

"Yes, I think it's about the right time," Ema said excitedly.

"That's great, Fraulien. Does that mean I can open my eyes now?" Klavier asked.

"Not yet. Just 2.5 more seconds, okay?" Ema answered.

"Um...I guess there's no point in arguing, ja?"

"Okay, now open your eyes!" Klavier opened his eyes and saw a lake that was shimmering all colors of the rainbow.

"Do you like it?"

"Ja."

"You see, the prism up there captures the light from the sun during the day, and the moon during the night. And at exactly the right time, the light hits perfectly, creating all the colors of the color spectrum and making this extraordinary scene. Isn't it beautiful?"

"So, this is scientific and scenic at the same time," Klavier said.

"Exactly. So, um..."

"Ema, I'm going to kiss you. Would you please not kick me this time?" Klavier asked. Ema's breath caught in her throat.

"Scientifically speaking...Yes," Ema replied. Klaver's face moved closer to hers. Ema's face moved closer to his. Then, Ema became aware her arm was moving toward her purse and pulling out the pepper spray.


End file.
